I often felt sad, disappointed, rejected, alone and depressed. I read books. Searched Internet. I found lot of things that do not work.
Here, I have tried to set out what I learned, experienced and realized. This may help you or it may not work for you.
1) Study a child. See when he feels happy, when he feels sad, when he cries and when he weeps.
From Alfred Adler’s book “Understanding of Human Nature”, I learned many things. I learned that as soon as we come in this world, we see that everyone except us is Big. A striving develops in us to become bigger or equal. This tendency later seen in our life as “Striving for Superiority”
Here, pause for a moment. Do you notice such striving for superiority in you? If yes, this could be a cause of sadness.
2) Study the child more. If he is left alone, he fears. He starts crying. Someone comes. Lifts him. Plays with him. He is now happy. But you will notice that he is constantly trying to seek attention.
This tendency later develops as “Striving for Recognition”
Pause here. Do you want to become famous? Do you want to be recognized for your talents?
This striving also causes us to be depressed when we do not get desired recognition.
Study the child. He wants toys. If he does not get toy, he feels sad.
Now study you. Imagine you are living in rented house. You want to live in your own flat. But you cannot buy. This will make you sad.
Try to understand these wants which are making you sad.
Sit alone. Meditate. Release those unfinished businesses from your mind.
3) There could be 100 more reasons and causes for depression. But try to understand a “Rubber Band Tension”
Suppose your mind is a rubber band which can be stretched. You are at point A. You want to go to point B. Your mind, rubber band will be stretched from Point A to Point B. A tension will be created. Point B will start pulling you.
The mind will become a stretched rubber band. If it remains in tense stretched position for long, sadness of not being able to achieve point B, may cause sadness.
4) Two Chemicals in Brain. A psychiatrist can tell you. When certain chemical is released from brain, you feel happy. If for some reason, happy-chemical is less produced, you begin to feel sad. Doctors give pills if such chemical is in low production since several months.
5) Yes and No chemical. When you say yes to enjoyments in life, happy chemical is released in brain. When you are saying No to pleasures of life, the happy chemical is not produced. You may feel sad. Say Yes to pleasures of life when it is ok. It may reduce sadness.
6) Places have effect. When you go to shopping mall and start buying, you feel happy. Brain produces happy chemical. Try and find out places where you feel happy the moment you reach there.
A lawyer said, in one court vacation, he did not go abroad. He went regularly to a children day care unit and played with children for a whole month. Effect of place.
7) You go in a restaurant and order an ice cream cup.
Well, this is also needed for getting a cup of happiness.
Search your life to find out things and places that make you happy. Then go there and place your order for happiness.
Going to temples, surrendering to God may help.
If you will go to a place where only sadness is served, you will get dishes full of sadness.
8) Sadness is infectious. If you feel sad, go to a happy person and sit near him. Germs of your sadness will start leaving your mind and will start entering in head of that happy person.
He will soon start feeling uncomfortable and will move away from you.
Doesn’t matter. Go to another happy person and sit near him till he too moves away from you.
Keep doing this till all germs of your sadness goes away completely. Try this idea at least once before rejecting this.
9) The Real Problem: If you feel so much sad that you see “no point in removing your sadness” or if you “begin to like your sadness”, then nothing will work for you except a doctor.
10) And if you are on twitter, discontinue following sad and angry people (Like me). 🙂
Follow happy and laughing persons. Germs of their happiness may start entering in your mind. 🙂